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The Truth About Post Adoption Depression for Parents

11/6/2023

20 Comments

 
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Adoption.

I have been blessed to adopt three from foster care over the years.

Though many in society may not recognize it, adoption is all around us, and is a normal part of how thousands of families come together. Indeed, six out of every ten Americans are touched by adoption in some fashion. Along with this, roughly 7 million Americans have been adopted. Each year, roughly 135,000 children are adopted in the United States. 


When a child is placed into foster care, the initial goal is to have the child reunified with his birth parents, or a member of his biological family. Certainly, the initial intent of placing a child into care is that the placement be a temporary, with reunification the main objective.

Yet, there are those instances when reunification is not possible, and the child is placed through the court system for adoption. There are several reasons why a foster child might be placed up for adoption. First, the custody rights of the birth parents are voluntarily terminated; secondly, the custody rights of the birth parents are terminated by a court order; and third, the child is up for adoption due to the death of birth parents.  For many foster parents like myself, adoption is the natural next step, as the children placed in our homes become a valued and very much loved member of our family.

While adoption may be a gift and a blessing for so many, it does not automatically lead to a "happy ever ending" for all involved. What many adoptive parents discover after an adoption is Post Adoption Depression. Post Adoption Depression Syndrome, or PADS, is a term that was first in 1995 by June Bond.  Bond noticed how adoptive parents’ affect did not reflect the joy or happiness that she had expected to see as she performed post-placement home visits. Indeed, some studies indicate that up to 65% of adoptive mothers experience PADS at some point. 

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Feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress may occur with the adoptive parent after the adoption has taken place. There may be several reasons why adoptive parents experience this form of depression following an adoption. For some, PADS may derive from sleep deprivation after the adoption. Some may experience unresolved feelings of grief and loss from past trauma may surface within the parent . For others, it may be unresolved infertility issues that were never addressed. Still, other adoptive parents may struggle with the challenges of attachment or bonding with the child that were more difficult than first expected.

For many, Post Adoption Depression Syndrome may result from a lack of support services for the entire family after the adoption.  While there are foster parent support groups, and they are so very important to be sure, there are few adoptive parent support groups. For those who have adopted, it is important to surround yourself with others who have "walked the walk", so to speak. Instead, many adoptive parents try to "tough it out," if you will, during those difficult and stressful times. Thus, many adoptive parents often feel isolated, due to feeling that no one understands the challenges that adoption can bring. 

To be sure, Self Care is critical for not only foster parents, but also adoptive parents. As I say often when speaking at foster care events, if you do not take time to care for yourself, you will not be able to care for the children who so desperately need you. Another crucial way to help address PADS is the gift of time. Bonding and attachment do not happen overnight. Instead, bonding can be a slow process, therefore allow it to happen naturally, over time, and remain patient.  Remember how the child may feel about adoption. H
e will likely re-experience feelings of loss during the adoption process. Allow him to discuss his feelings of grief and loss with you as you listen attentively to him, validating his feelings and emotions. If he should ask any questions about his biological parents or birth family, it is important that you answer them as honestly as you can. At the same time, help him to transfer attachment from his birth family to yours by ensuring that he is included in all aspects of your family, and when possible, incorporate parts of his previous family’s traditions into your own, as it helps him to feel more comfortable. After all, his birth family gave him his appearance and gender, his intelligence, his temperament, talents, and of course, his life. These, of course, will never change.


Become a Special Member of The Foster Care Institute-Amazing Benefits!

The adoption of three children from foster care has led to so many adventures, challenges, joys, and experiences for my family. Just because we signed some paper work, making the children legally ours, does not mean that the new discoveries and challenges fade away. On the contrary, we are learning new things about these children on an almost daily basis. Perhaps the greatest discovery my family and I are learning is that the amount of love one can hold in a heart never seems to end. My family has not only grown in size from these adoptions, they have grown in love, as well. 

For much more on Post Adoption Depression Syndrome, be sure to watch the Foster Care Institute training webinar on this very topic, as we examine it in full, offering many solutions and tips designed to help you during this emotionally challenging time.

​-Dr. John
For more, purchase your own personally signed copy of The Foster Care Survival Guide: The Essential Guide for Today's Foster Parents.



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20 Comments
Clara Smith
11/7/2023 09:31:19 am

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11/19/2023 04:46:46 am

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11/20/2023 11:49:37 pm


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9/6/2024 07:23:01 am

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11/8/2024 11:56:38 am

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11/20/2024 11:52:42 am

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1/20/2025 04:50:59 pm

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2/21/2025 09:22:29 am

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Mabel Armado
3/11/2025 10:16:43 am

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Call/Whatsapp number: +16692213962
Website: http://onihaspells.com

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5/9/2025 04:42:28 pm

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Gillian Bayford
5/18/2025 02:36:41 pm

I want to use this medium to share my incredible manifesting with Dr. Kachi, who truly changed my life. For a long time, I struggled with homelessness after losing my job as a nurse. Life felt like an endless battle, and I spent many years trying to win the lottery, hoping for a better future. But despite my efforts, I had no success and was growing increasingly frustrated. That was until I came across an amazing testimony from a woman named Natasha, who shared how Dr. Kachi helped her win the National EuroMillions jackpot. I had always loved playing EuroMillions, but winning seemed impossible for me. However, after seeing Natasha's story, I decided to reach out to Dr. Kachi prepared a special spell to help me with guaranteed lucky numbers. Within 24 hours, he provided me with the winning numbers and instructed me to play. To my amazement, I won £184.656 million in the EuroMillions! Thanks to Dr. Kachi, my life has been transformed, and my financial situation has changed for the better. I will never forget this joyful moment, as it has been the best thing to ever happen to me. If you’re struggling and seeking a way out, never give up. Dr. Kachi can help you, just as he helped me. Keep your faith and take a chance – your life could change too! contact website https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site his email [email protected] or his phone text or call number: +1 (209) 893-8075

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Tamino jax PERRY
5/23/2025 11:38:25 am

Cancer, can be treated and cured permanently but only few believe it,, but I was among those who never believed it until doctor herbal cured me of Cancer, I had Cancer for two years and it was eating me one day I found a testimony of someone testifying to the great work of Dr Moses Buba who cured him of Cancer, I was thinking since this man can cure Cancer then . must be able to cure my Cancer too and to my greatest surprise he really cured me of Cancer, I only message him on his email( [email protected] ) and he replied me and we discussed then he sent me the medicine and today am Cancer free... All thanks to you Dr Moses Buba the herbalist.. Thank you. Contact Dr Moses Buba for any help
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61559577240930

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Sarah Flower
5/23/2025 06:24:45 pm

Hi guys, my name is Sarah Flower, I ended my marriage in 2024 due to suffering from domestic abuse at the hands of my husband. Currently, he is trying to reconcile with me after finding out that I won a Jackpot Lottery Prize of $96 million. Fortunately, I received assistance online from Lord Meduza, the great spell caster who has successfully aided many individuals worldwide in winning the lottery. I reached out to him about my circumstances and expressed my desire to win the lottery. After casting the spell, he provided me with the exact numbers to play. Now, my husband wants me back, fully aware of my $96 million lottery win, but I told him no; I will not return to him. I am incredibly grateful to Lord Meduza, and if you find yourself facing a tough situation, I recommend that you reach out to him as he's the best in his field. You can contact him through his Email: [email protected] or WhatsApp: +1 807 907 2687.
Good luck guys.

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    AUTHOR
    Dr. John DeGarmo is the founder and director of The Foster Care Institute, and is recognized as a leading expert in foster care. Dr. John is an TEDX Talk speaker, international trainer and speaker, consultant, author, and most importantly, a father.  He has been a foster parent  with over 60 children who have come to live in his home from adoption and foster care. He is the author of many books, including the  book  
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