Foster Care Institute Dr. John DeGarmo
  • Home
  • About
    • Motivational Keynote Speaker Topics >
      • Motivational Speaker
      • Inspirational Speaker
      • Foster Care Speaker
      • Fundraising Keynote
      • Early Childhood Speaker
      • Education Speaker
      • Teacher/School Speaker
    • In The Media
    • Articles
    • Blog
    • At Home Virtual Foster Parent Intake and Orientation >
      • Intake and Orientation Book
      • Session 1: What is Foster Care?
      • Session 1: Birth Children and Foster Children
      • Birth Parents and You Quiz
      • Session 1: Anger Management
      • Session 2: Anxiety and Disorders
      • Quiz: Anxieties and Disorders
      • Session 2: Birth Parents and You
      • Quiz: Child Development
      • Session 2: Child Development Part I
      • Session 3: Child Development Part II
      • Session 3: Trauma Informed Parenting
      • Trauma Informed Quiz
      • Session 3: Caseworkers and Foster Parents
      • Quiz: Caseworker
      • Session 4: Burnout and Stress
      • Burnout and Stress Quiz
      • Session 4: Documentation
      • Quiz: Documentation
      • Session 4: Loss and Grief
      • Quiz: Loss and Grief
      • Session 5: Placement
      • Quiz: Placement
      • Session 5: Protecting Yourself as a Foster Parent
      • Session 5: Visitations
      • Visitations Quiz
    • Foster Parent Recruitment >
      • Foster Parent Recruitment Book
      • Recruitment Webinar: Intro
      • Recruitment Webinar I
      • Recruitment Webinar II
      • Recruitment Webinar III
      • Recruitment Webinar IV
      • Recruitment Webinar V
      • Recruitment Webinar VI
      • Recruitment Webinar VII
      • Recruitment Webinar VIII
    • Consultant
    • Foster Care 101 Videos/Radio
    • Foster Care Success Coaching
    • Foster Parent Coach
    • Author Success Coach
    • How To Be A Paid Speaker
    • Testimonials
  • Contact
  • Foster Care Training
  • Store
    • The Foster Care Institute Library of Online Training Webinars
  • Training Webinars
    • Webinar: ADHD Part I
    • Webinar: ADHD Part II
    • Webinar Aging Out Part I
    • Webinar Aging Out Part II
    • Webinar: Anger Management
    • Webinar Anxieties and Disorders
    • Webinar: Attachment
    • Webinar: Autism
    • Webinar: Bedwetting
    • Webinar Birth Children and Adoptive Foster Children
    • Webinar Birth Parents and You
    • Webinar: Building Self Confidence
    • Webinar: Bullying Part I
    • Webinar: Bullying Part II
    • Webinar Burnout and Stress
    • Webinar: Case Workers and Foster Parents CW Version
    • Webinar: Case Workers Foster Parents Foster Parent Version
    • Webinar Child Development I
    • Child Development II Quiz
    • Webinar Child Development II
    • Webinar Child Sex Trafficking
    • Webinar Compassion Fatigue
    • Webinar Discipline and Children in Foster Care
    • Webinar Documentation
    • Webinar Eating Disorders
    • Webinar: Emphatic Listening
    • Webinar: FASD Part I
    • Webinar: FASD Part II
    • Webinar: Fire Starting
    • Webinar Grief and Loss
    • Webinar: Helping Foster Children in School
    • Webinar: Home Safety
    • Webinar How to Prepare for Foster Child
    • Webinar Just For Dads
    • Webinar: Kinship Care
    • Webinar Knowing the Terms
    • Webinar: Lice! Prevention and Treatment
    • Webinar Life Books
    • Webinar: Mandated Reporting
    • Webinar Marriage/Foster Care Part I
    • Webinar Marriage Foster Care Part II
    • Webinar: Neglect
    • Webinar: Non Compliance
    • Webinar: Normalcy
    • Webinar: Oppositional Defiant Disorder
    • Webinar: Parenting Troubled Teens
    • Webinar: Positive Parenting
    • Webinar Post Adoption Depression
    • Webinar Power of Prayer
    • Webinar Protecting Yourself as a Foster Parent
    • Webinar: Reactive Attachment Disorder
    • Webinar: Respite Care
    • Webinar: Rights and Responsibilities
    • Webinar: Running Away
    • Webinar: Saying Goodbye to Children in Foster Care
    • Webinar Schools Part 1
    • Webinar Schools Part II
    • Webinar: Self Harm
    • Webinar Sexual Predators/Sexting
    • Webinar Sleep Anxieties
    • Webinar Social Media Safety
    • Webinar: Stealing
    • Webinar The Holidays
    • Webinar: Transracial Parenting Part I
    • Webinar: Transracial Parenting Part II
    • Webinar Trauma and Stress
    • Webinar: Trauma Informed Parenting I
    • Webinar: Trauma Informed Parenting II
    • Webinar Visitations
    • Webinar: Why Children Bite
    • Webinar Why Children Lie
    • Webinar What if he is Not Adopted
    • Webinar: What is Foster Care
  • CCYA RBWO Training
    • ADHD Part I RBW
    • ADHD Part II RBW
    • Aging Out RBWO Training
    • Bullying RBWO
    • Challenges of School RBWO Training
    • Compassion Fatigue RBW
    • Eating Disorders-RBW
    • Emphatic Listening RBWO Training
    • Mandated Reporting RBWO Training
    • Normalcy RBWO
    • Running Away RBW
    • Self Harm RBWO
    • Sleep Anxieties RBWO Training
    • The Holidays-RBW
    • Trauma Part I RBW
    • Trauma Part II RBW
  • Paid Member Benefits Page
    • Certificate: ADHD Part I
    • Certificate ADHD Part II
    • Certificate Aging Out I
    • Certificate Aging Out II
    • Certificate Anger Management
    • Certificate Anxieties Disorders
    • Certificate: Attachment
    • Certificate: Autism
    • Certificate: Bedwetting
    • Certificate Birth Children
    • Certificate Birth Family
    • Certificate Biting
    • Certificate-Building Self Esteem
    • Certificate Bullying Part I
    • Certificate Bullying Part II
    • Certificate Burn Out/Stress
    • Certificate Caseworker/Foster Parents CW Version
    • Certificate Case Workers Foster Parents FP Verssion
    • Certificate Child Development I
    • Certificate Child Development II
    • Certificate Child Sex Trafficking
    • Certificate Compassion Fatigue
    • Certificate Discipline and Foster Care
    • Certificate Documentation
    • Certificate Eating Disorders
    • Certificate: Emphatic Listening
    • Certificate: FASD Part I
    • Certificate: FASD Part II
    • Certificate Fire Starting
    • Certificate Helping Foster Children in School
    • Certificate Home Safety
    • Certificate Just For Dads
    • Certificate: Kinship Care
    • Certificate Knowing the Terms
    • Certificate: Lice! Prevention and Treatment
    • Certificate Life Books
    • Certificate Loss/Grief
    • Certificate: Mandated Reporting
    • Certificate Marriage II
    • Certificate Marriage I
    • Certificate: Neglect
    • Certificate: Normalcy
    • Certificate Online Dangers
    • Certificate: Parenting Troubled Teens
    • Certificate Placement
    • Certificate: Positive Parenting
    • Certificate Post Adoption Depression
    • Certificate Power of Prayer
    • Certificate Protecting Yourself as a Foster Parent
    • Certificate Reactive Attachment Disorder
    • Certificate Respite Care
    • Certificate Rights and Responsibilities
    • Certificate Running Away
    • Certificate: Saying Goodbye
    • Certificate Schools I
    • Certificate Schools II
    • Certificate: Self Harm
    • Certificate Sexting
    • Certificate Sleep Anxieties
    • Certificate Stealing
    • Certificate The Holidays
    • Certificate: Transracial Parenting Part I
    • Certificate: Transracial Parenting Part II
    • Certificate Trauma
    • Certificate: Trauma Informed Parenting I
    • Certificate : Trauma Informed Parenting II
    • Certificate Visitation
    • Certificate What if Not Adopted
    • Certificate: What is Foster Care
    • Certificate Why Children Lie
  • Documentation Paperwork
    • Documentation Downloadable Paperwork
  • How to be a Foster Parent
  • Cancel Subscription
  • New Page
  • Home

Addiction and Foster Care-Guest blog by Ashley Rhodes-Courter

5/14/2018

7 Comments

 
Picture
Everyone working in the child welfare system is exposed to substance abuse in family systems.  Alcohol, cocaine, crack, and amphetamines have played roles in the world of addiction; but it is the current opioid epidemic that has an unrelenting grip on our society today.  This drug is remarkably prevalent and wildly available.  With some, the road of addiction began with medications legally prescribed by their doctors. 
Over the last few years, states have reported an increase—sometimes in the thousands—of the number of children removed from their homes and placed into foster care due to caregiver drug abuse.  While drug and alcohol abuse can be found in any population, there are a high number of current and former foster children who abuse substances.  According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, more than 115 Americans die after overdosing on Opioids each day. 

A few short months ago, my brother was one of them.  He was an infant when we entered the foster care system.  Sometimes we were in the same home, but more often we were separated.  I had 14 placements, and he had many more due to his behavior issues.  I felt a tremendous pressure and duty to watch over him and keep him safe—sometimes from abusive foster parents, sometimes from himself. 

My brother was 29 when he died of a heroin overdose, laced with Fentanyl.  Our life paths took opposite directions.  While I was in college and graduate school, he tried to dull the sadness from a lifetime of abuse and neglect.  He felt betrayed and abandoned first, by our birth parents, then the myriad of people paid to take care of him.  I see this feeling of betrayal play out in many youth who never nourished by a stable family.  My brother never found security as a child or as an adult, and was floundering when opioids and other drugs offered temporary relief from his emotional pain.

Today I run a mental health and direct services agency for children, adults, and families.  We often work with both teens in crisis, and the parents or caregivers who are desperate to help them.  Children like my brother, who have grown up in disrupted, dysfunctional, or chaotic households, are much more prone to risky behaviors and decisions. This poses an additional set of challenges for especially foster and adoptive parents. 

I agonize over what I could have done to help him, as do so many other siblings, parents, friends, teachers, and relatives who have also lost someone they cared about to addiction.   If you are wondering what you can do to help, here are some key tips and information that might be useful tools for parents and teens avoiding drug use and addiction in the first place.

  1.  Love Unconditionally.  Kids and teens are complex creatures, but all crave positive reinforcement, attention, praise, and support.  We have to be there for them, especially when they push us away.  We all make mistakes and it is important that kids know they can come to you, even when they’ve done something wrong or are in a bad social situation.

  2. Create Trust.  It is critical that your kids feel safe enough to disclose something important or private to you—or another trusted adult. Have regular conversations with your child and create opportunities to have one-on-one time with them.  Make sure they feel secure enough to tell you anything that’s on their minds, and give them resources to go to if they feel they can’t disclose to you.  When youth keep parts of their lives or identities hidden, it can fester and ultimately come out in unproductive ways.  My adoptive parents would regularly leave books next to my bed on a wide variety of topics. 

  3. Educate Yourself and Them.  Especially if you have a teen, be sure to talk to them openly and freely about drug use and addiction.  More so than any other point in history, teens have the world at their fingertips due to the regular use of social media, internet, and cell phones. Your kids and their peers are hearing, seeing, or experiencing happenings, trends, and breaking news at a lightning fast rates. Walk through some of these news stories, events, or tragedies and discuss them openly.  Give youth quality resources for information on the impact of drugs and alcohol as well as resources for help if they are struggling in any way and are not comfortable sharing with you.  Show them the facts, books, articles and personal stories that exist and talk about the many harmful ramifications of substance abuse. Research and know the organizations nationally and locally who can provide help, advice, or services.

  4. Keep them Engaged.  Busy kids don’t have a lot of time to get into trouble. Starting in middle school, I was on several sports teams and was enrolled in after school activities and community clubs. I played basketball, softball, performed in school and community plays, and focused on my school work—because I knew that was my ticket out of the cycle of abuse and poverty into which I had been born.  Try engaging kids in regular activities that build self-esteem, create positive social groups, and offer healthy outlets.  Everyone is good at, or interested in something. Explore what your child’s abilities and likes are, and help them strengthen those skills or interests through positive outlets. Though we can never control all negative influences in their lives, we can provide ample opportunity for positive engagements, relationships, and experiences.

  5. Be Aware.  Always be aware of what’s happening in your child’s life, and with their friends or your other family members. Know where they are going, and who they are with. Set appropriate curfews and expectations for check-ins and communication.  Never be naive enough to think that these issues could never happen to your teen or your family. 
 
Even families who do all of these things can experience tragedies.  Youth and families must be reminded that there is help, and that they are not alone.  I encourage parents struggling with various issues to seek online groups, community supports, or individualized counseling that will address topics and solutions specific to their family or loved one. No two cases are exactly the same, but there are thousands who are living with similar struggles on all sides of this issue.
 
Ashley Rhodes-Courter, MSW, is a former foster child, social worker, birth and adoptive mom, and the New York Times Bestselling author of Three Little Words, and Three More Words. 
www.Rhodes-Courter.com
www.SustainableFamilyServices.com

7 Comments
    Picture
    AUTHOR
    Dr. John DeGarmo is the founder and director of The Foster Care Institute, and is recognized as a leading expert in foster care. Dr. John is an TEDX Talk speaker, international trainer and speaker, consultant, author, and most importantly, a father.  He has been a foster parent  with over 60 children who have come to live in his home from adoption and foster care. He is the author of many books, including the  book  
    The Foster Care Survival Guide: The Essential Book for Today's Foster Parents.

    Picture
    Order your signed copy of the new book:
    The Little Book of Foster Care Wisdom: 365 Days of Inspiration and Encouragement for Foster Care Families
    Dr.John's TEDx Talk on Foster Care.
    Get unlimited access to over 65 hours of Training Webinars, Certificates, CEUs 15 FREE eBooks, and more.  Get your licensing foster care training hours at home, at work, at lunch, on vacation....anytime you want.    It's easy!   
    Join​ HERE!

    Archives

    March 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013

    Categories

    All
    Phone Number

    RSS Feed

Home       About   Media   Blog       Training/Webinars      Foster Parent Recruitment/Retention Consultant       Contact       Articles     Foster Parent Coach       Store         Radio Show/Video Series      How to be a Foster Parent    How To Be A Paid Speaker   Testimonials