Foster Care Institute Dr. John DeGarmo
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    • Certificate: Accountability
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    • Certificate: FASD Part II
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    • Certificate Helping Foster Children in School
    • Certificate Home Safety
    • Certificate: Illness Anxiety
    • Certificate Just For Dads
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    • Certificate Knowing the Terms
    • Certificate: Lice! Prevention and Treatment
    • Certificate Life Books
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    • Certificate: Managing Stress
    • Certificate: Mandated Reporting
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    • Certificate Marriage I
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    • Certificate: Non Compliance
    • Certificate: Normalcy
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    • Certificate Online Dangers
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    • Certificate Placement
    • Certificate: Positive Parenting
    • Certificate Post Adoption Depression
    • Certificate Power of Prayer
    • Certificate Protecting Yourself as a Foster Parent
    • Certificate Reactive Attachment Disorder
    • Certificate Respite Care
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    • Certificate Rights and Responsibilities
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    • Certificate: Saying Goodbye
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    • Certificate Sleep Anxieties
    • Certificate Stealing
    • Certificate The Holidays
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    • Certificate: Transracial Parenting Part II
    • Certificate Trauma
    • Certificate: Trauma Informed Parenting I
    • Certificate : Trauma Informed Parenting II
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    • Certificate What if Not Adopted
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The Importance of Documentation

11/28/2023

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Just as location, location, location are the three most important words for a real estate agent, documentation should ring in the ear of every foster parent. They just might be the three most important words a foster parent needs today. Written documentation can go a long way toward keeping foster parents safe, and even helping protect them from false accusations. 

Now, documentation does not mean that you, as a foster parent, should record and report only those negative experiences while caring for a child in care. Indeed, positive events and occurrences should also be reported and documented. Document when he started eating healthier, behaving more positively, acted kinder. Note when negative behavior began to decrease, and how he attempts to handle difficult situations in a more positive way. Throughout the placement of your child from foster care in your house, it will be necessary for you as a foster parent to keep written records, a journal or some sort of documentation. This written account will help you keep an accurate account of the time your child from foster care lives in your home. ​

Quite likely, your child from child from foster care is going to come to your home behind on medical shots, and perhaps on several medications. In short, he is probably going to have to visit the doctor soon, and perhaps even often. If he becomes sick, include this in your written records: the time he was sick, as well as how it was treated, including doctor visits and any medicine that you gave him.  Note the conversations between him and the doctor, and between you and the doctor. Indeed, try and document the conversations between not only a doctor and a child, but also between the child in your home and his caseworkers, therapists, teachers, birth parents, biological family members, teachers, law enforcement and other people and conversations you feel are important.  If he is the typical child, he will probably fall down at some point while living with you and skin his knee, scrape his chin, have a bruise, or some other type of injury. It is important that you document when it happened, how it occurred, and how and what you did to treat it. 

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You might also be wise to let your caseworker know about such injuries occurring in your home, as well in case a birth parent or family member should notice and ask at the next visitation. Again, no need to worry too much if and when this should happen to the child in your home. Children will play, fall and get scratched and cut. It most likely happened to you as a child, and will happen to the children living in your home. Simply make sure you document such events in full. If he should miss a day of school due to being sick, record this and how you treated it as well. Keep records of any doctor’s notes, too. 

For many children in care, their emotional status and needs are ever changing, and at times, ever demanding. As a foster parent, it is important to document any changes in behavior the child in your home might exhibit, along with when he began behaving in this way, as well as how long the behavior lasted. Detail how you addressed this change in behavior, and how he reacted to any rules and consequences you put into place as a result of misbehavior. If he should lie, steal, argue, yell or throw the so-called temper tantrum, record these incidents and how you responded to them as well. Along with that, record how the child responded to any consequences or disciplinary methods you used. Keep a notebook specifically for his school work, including grades and report cards, any behavioral problems or discipline, and any conversations with teachers, school counselors, administrators and other school employees. 

Visitations are an important factor in both the life of your child in foster care, as well as his biological family members.  For your child, visitations may occur once or several times a week, every other week, once a month, or even more irregularly than that. Whatever schedule of visitation he might have, it is important that you record these important events. Keep an account of every time he has a visitation, including the date, times and locations of each visit. Record who was there to supervise and monitor the visitation. If he has significant emotional or behavioral changes before and/or after these visits, as is often the case and is also quite normal, do your best to describe these in full.

 Any contact you have with the birth parents and biological family members should also be documented. You should also document each conversation you have with his caseworker. If he should display any serious conflicts or unusual behavior toward his biological family or caseworker, or even toward himself, document this in detail, as well as report it to the caseworker immediately. If you suspect any kind of abuse while visiting his family, take before and after pictures of him as another form of evidence. Indeed, if he should ever abuse himself in any way, at any time, and in any fashion, not only must you document this, but you also need to call your child’s caseworker immediately. With proper documentation and records, you will not only better protect yourself as a foster parent, but also the child. Furthermore, documentation helps to provide important information to case workers, courts and all advocates for children in foster care.


For much more, download The Foster Parent Documentation Book. The Foster Parent Documentation book has all documentation information, forms, and much more for your foster parenting needs. This downloadable book includes information that you need.
-What to document
-How to properly document
-How to properly record incidents and accidents
-Printable Contact Sheets
-Printable Medication Logs
-Printable Respite Family Information Sheets
​-Printable Accident Report Logs
​-Printable Doctor/Medical Visit Forms
​-Printable Child Monthly Reports Forms
​-Printable School Information Forms
​-Printable Visitation Report Forms
​-Printable Behavior Incident Report Forms
​-Printable Yearly Training and Licensing Logs
-Full and detailed list of Foster Care acronyms
-Foster Care Contact Information for all state departments for the United States.


​-Dr. John

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The Truth About Post Adoption Depression for Parents

11/6/2023

25 Comments

 
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Adoption.

I have been blessed to adopt three from foster care over the years.

Though many in society may not recognize it, adoption is all around us, and is a normal part of how thousands of families come together. Indeed, six out of every ten Americans are touched by adoption in some fashion. Along with this, roughly 7 million Americans have been adopted. Each year, roughly 135,000 children are adopted in the United States. 


When a child is placed into foster care, the initial goal is to have the child reunified with his birth parents, or a member of his biological family. Certainly, the initial intent of placing a child into care is that the placement be a temporary, with reunification the main objective.

Yet, there are those instances when reunification is not possible, and the child is placed through the court system for adoption. There are several reasons why a foster child might be placed up for adoption. First, the custody rights of the birth parents are voluntarily terminated; secondly, the custody rights of the birth parents are terminated by a court order; and third, the child is up for adoption due to the death of birth parents.  For many foster parents like myself, adoption is the natural next step, as the children placed in our homes become a valued and very much loved member of our family.

While adoption may be a gift and a blessing for so many, it does not automatically lead to a "happy ever ending" for all involved. What many adoptive parents discover after an adoption is Post Adoption Depression. Post Adoption Depression Syndrome, or PADS, is a term that was first in 1995 by June Bond.  Bond noticed how adoptive parents’ affect did not reflect the joy or happiness that she had expected to see as she performed post-placement home visits. Indeed, some studies indicate that up to 65% of adoptive mothers experience PADS at some point. 

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Feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress may occur with the adoptive parent after the adoption has taken place. There may be several reasons why adoptive parents experience this form of depression following an adoption. For some, PADS may derive from sleep deprivation after the adoption. Some may experience unresolved feelings of grief and loss from past trauma may surface within the parent . For others, it may be unresolved infertility issues that were never addressed. Still, other adoptive parents may struggle with the challenges of attachment or bonding with the child that were more difficult than first expected.

For many, Post Adoption Depression Syndrome may result from a lack of support services for the entire family after the adoption.  While there are foster parent support groups, and they are so very important to be sure, there are few adoptive parent support groups. For those who have adopted, it is important to surround yourself with others who have "walked the walk", so to speak. Instead, many adoptive parents try to "tough it out," if you will, during those difficult and stressful times. Thus, many adoptive parents often feel isolated, due to feeling that no one understands the challenges that adoption can bring. 

To be sure, Self Care is critical for not only foster parents, but also adoptive parents. As I say often when speaking at foster care events, if you do not take time to care for yourself, you will not be able to care for the children who so desperately need you. Another crucial way to help address PADS is the gift of time. Bonding and attachment do not happen overnight. Instead, bonding can be a slow process, therefore allow it to happen naturally, over time, and remain patient.  Remember how the child may feel about adoption. H
e will likely re-experience feelings of loss during the adoption process. Allow him to discuss his feelings of grief and loss with you as you listen attentively to him, validating his feelings and emotions. If he should ask any questions about his biological parents or birth family, it is important that you answer them as honestly as you can. At the same time, help him to transfer attachment from his birth family to yours by ensuring that he is included in all aspects of your family, and when possible, incorporate parts of his previous family’s traditions into your own, as it helps him to feel more comfortable. After all, his birth family gave him his appearance and gender, his intelligence, his temperament, talents, and of course, his life. These, of course, will never change.


Become a Special Member of The Foster Care Institute-Amazing Benefits!

The adoption of three children from foster care has led to so many adventures, challenges, joys, and experiences for my family. Just because we signed some paper work, making the children legally ours, does not mean that the new discoveries and challenges fade away. On the contrary, we are learning new things about these children on an almost daily basis. Perhaps the greatest discovery my family and I are learning is that the amount of love one can hold in a heart never seems to end. My family has not only grown in size from these adoptions, they have grown in love, as well. 

For much more on Post Adoption Depression Syndrome, be sure to watch the Foster Care Institute training webinar on this very topic, as we examine it in full, offering many solutions and tips designed to help you during this emotionally challenging time.

​-Dr. John
For more, purchase your own personally signed copy of The Foster Care Survival Guide: The Essential Guide for Today's Foster Parents.



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    AUTHOR
    Dr. John DeGarmo is the founder and director of The Foster Care Institute, and is recognized as a leading expert in foster care. Dr. John is an TEDX Talk speaker, international trainer and speaker, consultant, author, and most importantly, a father.  He has been a foster parent  with over 60 children who have come to live in his home from adoption and foster care. He is the author of many books, including the  book  
    The Foster Care Survival Guide: The Essential Book for Today's Foster Parents.

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