Foster Care Institute Dr. John DeGarmo
  • Home
  • About
    • Motivational Keynote Speaker Topics >
      • Motivational Speaker
      • Inspirational Speaker
      • Foster Care Speaker
      • Fundraising Keynote
      • Early Childhood Speaker
      • Education Speaker
      • Teacher/School Speaker
    • In The Media
    • Articles
    • Blog
    • At Home Virtual Foster Parent Intake and Orientation >
      • Intake and Orientation Book
      • Session 1: What is Foster Care?
      • Session 1: Birth Children and Foster Children
      • Birth Parents and You Quiz
      • Session 1: Anger Management
      • Session 2: Anxiety and Disorders
      • Quiz: Anxieties and Disorders
      • Session 2: Birth Parents and You
      • Quiz: Child Development
      • Session 2: Child Development Part I
      • Session 3: Child Development Part II
      • Session 3: Trauma Informed Parenting
      • Trauma Informed Quiz
      • Session 3: Caseworkers and Foster Parents
      • Quiz: Caseworker
      • Session 4: Burnout and Stress
      • Burnout and Stress Quiz
      • Session 4: Documentation
      • Quiz: Documentation
      • Session 4: Loss and Grief
      • Quiz: Loss and Grief
      • Session 5: Placement
      • Quiz: Placement
      • Session 5: Protecting Yourself as a Foster Parent
      • Session 5: Visitations
      • Visitations Quiz
    • Foster Parent Recruitment >
      • Foster Parent Recruitment Book
      • Recruitment Webinar: Intro
      • Recruitment Webinar I
      • Recruitment Webinar II
      • Recruitment Webinar III
      • Recruitment Webinar IV
      • Recruitment Webinar V
      • Recruitment Webinar VI
      • Recruitment Webinar VII
      • Recruitment Webinar VIII
    • Consultant
    • Foster Care 101 Videos/Radio
    • Foster Care Success Coaching
    • Foster Parent Coach
    • Author Success Coach
    • How To Be A Paid Speaker
    • Testimonials
  • Contact
  • Foster Care Training
  • Store
    • The Foster Care Institute Library of Online Training Webinars
  • Training Webinars
    • Webinar: ADHD Part I
    • Webinar: ADHD Part II
    • Webinar Aging Out Part I
    • Webinar Aging Out Part II
    • Webinar: Anger Management
    • Webinar Anxieties and Disorders
    • Webinar: Attachment
    • Webinar: Autism
    • Webinar: Bedwetting
    • Webinar Birth Children and Adoptive Foster Children
    • Webinar Birth Parents and You
    • Webinar: Building Self Confidence
    • Webinar: Bullying Part I
    • Webinar: Bullying Part II
    • Webinar Burnout and Stress
    • Webinar: Case Workers and Foster Parents CW Version
    • Webinar: Case Workers Foster Parents Foster Parent Version
    • Webinar Child Development I
    • Child Development II Quiz
    • Webinar Child Development II
    • Webinar Child Sex Trafficking
    • Webinar Compassion Fatigue
    • Webinar Discipline and Children in Foster Care
    • Webinar Documentation
    • Webinar Eating Disorders
    • Webinar: Emphatic Listening
    • Webinar: FASD Part I
    • Webinar: FASD Part II
    • Webinar: Fire Starting
    • Webinar Grief and Loss
    • Webinar: Helping Foster Children in School
    • Webinar: Home Safety
    • Webinar How to Prepare for Foster Child
    • Webinar Just For Dads
    • Webinar: Kinship Care
    • Webinar Knowing the Terms
    • Webinar: Lice! Prevention and Treatment
    • Webinar Life Books
    • Webinar: Mandated Reporting
    • Webinar Marriage/Foster Care Part I
    • Webinar Marriage Foster Care Part II
    • Webinar: Neglect
    • Webinar: Non Compliance
    • Webinar: Normalcy
    • Webinar: Oppositional Defiant Disorder
    • Webinar: Parenting Troubled Teens
    • Webinar: Positive Parenting
    • Webinar Post Adoption Depression
    • Webinar Power of Prayer
    • Webinar Protecting Yourself as a Foster Parent
    • Webinar: Reactive Attachment Disorder
    • Webinar: Respite Care
    • Webinar: Rights and Responsibilities
    • Webinar: Running Away
    • Webinar: Saying Goodbye to Children in Foster Care
    • Webinar Schools Part 1
    • Webinar Schools Part II
    • Webinar: Self Harm
    • Webinar Sexual Predators/Sexting
    • Webinar Sleep Anxieties
    • Webinar Social Media Safety
    • Webinar: Stealing
    • Webinar The Holidays
    • Webinar: Transracial Parenting Part I
    • Webinar: Transracial Parenting Part II
    • Webinar Trauma and Stress
    • Webinar: Trauma Informed Parenting I
    • Webinar: Trauma Informed Parenting II
    • Webinar Visitations
    • Webinar: Why Children Bite
    • Webinar Why Children Lie
    • Webinar What if he is Not Adopted
    • Webinar: What is Foster Care
  • CCYA RBWO Training
    • ADHD Part I RBW
    • ADHD Part II RBW
    • Aging Out RBWO Training
    • Bullying RBWO
    • Challenges of School RBWO Training
    • Compassion Fatigue RBW
    • Eating Disorders-RBW
    • Emphatic Listening RBWO Training
    • Mandated Reporting RBWO Training
    • Normalcy RBWO
    • Running Away RBW
    • Self Harm RBWO
    • Sleep Anxieties RBWO Training
    • The Holidays-RBW
    • Trauma Part I RBW
    • Trauma Part II RBW
  • Paid Member Benefits Page
    • Certificate: ADHD Part I
    • Certificate ADHD Part II
    • Certificate Aging Out I
    • Certificate Aging Out II
    • Certificate Anger Management
    • Certificate Anxieties Disorders
    • Certificate: Attachment
    • Certificate: Autism
    • Certificate: Bedwetting
    • Certificate Birth Children
    • Certificate Birth Family
    • Certificate Biting
    • Certificate-Building Self Esteem
    • Certificate Bullying Part I
    • Certificate Bullying Part II
    • Certificate Burn Out/Stress
    • Certificate Caseworker/Foster Parents CW Version
    • Certificate Case Workers Foster Parents FP Verssion
    • Certificate Child Development I
    • Certificate Child Development II
    • Certificate Child Sex Trafficking
    • Certificate Compassion Fatigue
    • Certificate Discipline and Foster Care
    • Certificate Documentation
    • Certificate Eating Disorders
    • Certificate: Emphatic Listening
    • Certificate: FASD Part I
    • Certificate: FASD Part II
    • Certificate Fire Starting
    • Certificate Helping Foster Children in School
    • Certificate Home Safety
    • Certificate Just For Dads
    • Certificate: Kinship Care
    • Certificate Knowing the Terms
    • Certificate: Lice! Prevention and Treatment
    • Certificate Life Books
    • Certificate Loss/Grief
    • Certificate: Mandated Reporting
    • Certificate Marriage II
    • Certificate Marriage I
    • Certificate: Neglect
    • Certificate: Normalcy
    • Certificate Online Dangers
    • Certificate: Parenting Troubled Teens
    • Certificate Placement
    • Certificate: Positive Parenting
    • Certificate Post Adoption Depression
    • Certificate Power of Prayer
    • Certificate Protecting Yourself as a Foster Parent
    • Certificate Reactive Attachment Disorder
    • Certificate Respite Care
    • Certificate Rights and Responsibilities
    • Certificate Running Away
    • Certificate: Saying Goodbye
    • Certificate Schools I
    • Certificate Schools II
    • Certificate: Self Harm
    • Certificate Sexting
    • Certificate Sleep Anxieties
    • Certificate Stealing
    • Certificate The Holidays
    • Certificate: Transracial Parenting Part I
    • Certificate: Transracial Parenting Part II
    • Certificate Trauma
    • Certificate: Trauma Informed Parenting I
    • Certificate : Trauma Informed Parenting II
    • Certificate Visitation
    • Certificate What if Not Adopted
    • Certificate: What is Foster Care
    • Certificate Why Children Lie
  • Documentation Paperwork
    • Documentation Downloadable Paperwork
  • How to be a Foster Parent
  • Cancel Subscription
  • New Page
  • Home

Scared!  What to do When a Child from Foster Care Moves to Your Home!

6/28/2022

2 Comments

 
Picture
Frightened.
 
The three children stood in front of my wife and me.  The four year old girl, here two year old sister, and one year old brother were so filled with fear, they would not look us in the eye, and were trying to hide their faces from us. It was quite clear that they were frightened, and I clearly understood why.  These three children were scared of us, their new so called “parents”; their foster parents.
 
The three siblings had been placed into our home for reasons of sexual abuse, neglect, and abandonment.  Those that proclaimed to love them the most, their birth parents, had committed horrific crimes of abuse upon these three innocent and defenseless children. 
 
Yet, we were strangers to them.  And they were scared.
  
Imagine, if you will, being taken away from your mother and your father, without any warning at all.  Imagine being taken away from your siblings, your pets, your stuffed animals and toys.  Imagine being taken away from your bedroom, house, yard, and neighborhood.  Imagine, too, being taken from all of your relatives, friends, classmates, and everything you knew.   In addition, after all of this, imagine if you were suddenly thrust into a strange house, with strangers, and informed that this was your new home and new family for the time being. It is a very frightening time; one filled with fear, uncertainty, and anxiety. It is a time where even the bravest of children become scared.
  
“I wanna go home,” the four year old said.
 
“I know you do,” my wife responded, bending down to her and looking at her at eye level.  Taking the little one in her arms, my wife tried to give the child a hug.  Instead, the four year old pushed her away, with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Join the thousands who receive Dr. DeGarmo’s FREE foster care newsletter. Simply fill out the form below.


When a child is placed into your home, it can be a time of anxiety for not just the child, but for your family, as well. The first impression you create with your foster child is often vitally important to how the next few days and weeks will transpire.  This will probably not be the sweet little child who rushes into your waiting arms, laughing delightfully, as you might imagine. It is highly likely that your foster child will be scared and frightened, full of anxiety. He may have left his family moments ago, and is now told that you are his family, for the time being.  Without a doubt, he is full of questions, as emotions swirl within him.
 
As caseworkers remove a child from a home suddenly, most are unprepared.  Foster children leave their home with a quick goodbye, leaving behind most of their belongings, with a few clothing and perhaps a prized possession hurriedly stuffed into a plastic bag.  Before they know it, they are standing in front of you, strangers, people they have never met before.
 
After a tour of the home, and some milk and homemade chocolate chip cookies, the children seemed to find a little more peace; they seemed a little less anxious.  Milk and cookies often do that to a child.  My wife sat down with the three children on the blue sofa.  The one year old boy sat in her lap, while the other two little girls sat either side of her.  Then, as she always does, my wife read the three children a book.  More specifically, she read them a children’s book about being in foster care.  As it has happened several times in the past with many of the other young children placed in our home, I noticed the three children find some level in comfort with my wife.  As she read to them, some of their anxieties lessened, and each of the three snuggled into my wife’s arms.  Perhaps, just perhaps, they were beginning to understand that they were safe.
 
Make no mistake; we both knew that the days ahead would be difficult, and full of emotional challenges.  The children were sure to have plenty of questions and concerns, and there were likely some tear filled nights and days ahead of us. 
 
It takes great patience, understanding, and compassion to be a foster parent.  During the first few nights of placement of a child into a foster home, it also takes a great deal of love. May you continue to love your foster child, and may we all continue to comfort them as they experience the loss of their own family when they move to ours.

-Dr. John 

Order your signed copy of  the only children's book written just for children being placed into foster care, and into your foster home. Just click on the book title - A Different Home: A New Foster Child's Story.

    Sign up for FREE foster care newsletter!

Submit

​
Picture

2 Comments
Michael Singh link
10/13/2022 10:03:13 am

Product simply career million. Soon gun whether push. Wife memory seven consider even television.
Any movement someone little garden itself. Eye space event student course child.

Reply
Richard Hill link
10/19/2022 11:37:30 pm

Way moment old outside future seem attention. Dinner health one street run a. Ahead argue goal city either south can.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    AUTHOR
    Dr. John DeGarmo is the founder and director of The Foster Care Institute, and is recognized as a leading expert in foster care. Dr. John is an TEDX Talk speaker, international trainer and speaker, consultant, author, and most importantly, a father.  He has been a foster parent  with over 60 children who have come to live in his home from adoption and foster care. He is the author of many books, including the  book  
    The Foster Care Survival Guide: The Essential Book for Today's Foster Parents.

    Picture
    Order your signed copy of the new book:
    The Little Book of Foster Care Wisdom: 365 Days of Inspiration and Encouragement for Foster Care Families
    Dr.John's TEDx Talk on Foster Care.
    Get unlimited access to over 65 hours of Training Webinars, Certificates, CEUs 15 FREE eBooks, and more.  Get your licensing foster care training hours at home, at work, at lunch, on vacation....anytime you want.    It's easy!   
    Join​ HERE!

    Archives

    March 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013

    Categories

    All
    Phone Number

    RSS Feed

Home       About   Media   Blog       Training/Webinars      Foster Parent Recruitment/Retention Consultant       Contact       Articles     Foster Parent Coach       Store         Radio Show/Video Series      How to be a Foster Parent    How To Be A Paid Speaker   Testimonials