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It's Okay to Cry as a Foster Parent!

6/29/2020

2 Comments

 
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My tears flowed freely down my face.  My cheeks were wet, yet I wasn’t compelled to wipe the tears away.  Quite simply, my heart hurt.  My heart was broken.

It had been two months since Maddie, our last foster child, had left our home. The 4-year-old girl had been with us for just under one year, and had made a significant impact not only on both my wife and I, but on our own children, as well. She had very much become a part of our family, and there were talks about the possibility of adopting her. Sadly, as it is many times for foster parents, the 4-year-old was moved to another home, where she would be closer to her biological family members. It was an emotionally difficult time for us. Her last words to me stung deep; “Daddy, will you miss me when I am gone? Will you still love me when I leave?”
Two months later, and it still hurt; I still cried.

“Will you still love me when I leave?”
I wanted to find her, to reach out to her, and to tell her, “Yes, Maddie. I will still love you. I will always love you.”

Join the thousands who receive Dr. DeGarmo’s FREE foster care newsletter. Simply fill out the form below.

My friend, I have a bit of bad news for you. It really does not get any easier when children move from your home, and leave your family. But guess what? It shouldn’t get any easier. This is how it really should be. If you experience grief and loss when your foster child leaves, this is a reflection of the love that developed between you and your child; a reflection of the love that you gave a child in need. As you know, children in foster care need us to love them; they need us to feel for them. When they leave our homes, we should grieve for them, as it simply means that we have given them what they need the most; our love.

I have watched over 60 children come to live with me and my family, and then move to other homes. Each time, my wife and I have grown to love these children, caring for them as if they were our very own, and treating them the same as all the others in our home; biological, adoptive, or foster. Each time a child leaves, my wife and I experience a great sense of loss, even when we can be comforted with the knowledge that the children have gone to a good and safe home. There have been times when my wife has sunk into deep grief, crying for days. We have both spent considerable time on our knees, lifting up a former foster child up in prayer. There have also been those times when we felt a small sense of relief when a child left our home. A few years back, we had a sibling group of three children in diapers, all with challenging behaviors and conditions. For those four months, we were run ragged, worn out, and tired. When the children left our home, to be returned to their mother, both my wife and I cried. At the same time, though, we felt that a burden had been lifted off of our shoulders, that we could breathe and relax a little, and focus on our own children some more.

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Saying goodbye is never easy for anyone, and may be especially difficult for you and your foster child. After your foster child leaves your home, you may feel like you never wish to foster again, as the pain is too great. The grief you feel may be overwhelming. Please remember this though, my friend; you are not alone. It is normal for foster parents to feel loss and grief each time a child leaves a home. Take time to grieve, and remind yourself that you are not in control of the situation. Thanks for caring for children in need. Thank you for caring for children in foster care.

And please remember this.  it is okay to cry as a foster parent.

It means that you gave the child what she needed the most; someone to love her with all your heart.

-Dr. John

Order your signed copy of what is being called "The BEST Book Written About Foster Parenting." 
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2 Comments
tiana bonny
10/30/2020 03:01:00 pm

After 3 Years in a relationship with my Boyfriend, my Boyfriend started going out with other girls and showing me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to break-up with me if I dare question him about his affair with other girls, I was totally devastated and confused until an old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet called DR Jumba who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of his gods, At first I doubted If such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, When I contact him, he told me everything I needed to do and I did and he helped me cast a Love Spell and within 28Hours my boyfriend came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with girls and he is with me for good and for real. Contact this Great spell Caster for your relationship or marriage problem.
Here's his contact  : Wiccalovespelltools@yahoo.com or whatsapp: +1 (908) 517 4108  WEBSITE:  drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com      

Reply
Tracy
8/26/2021 12:50:54 am

PRIEST ODUNGA AT ODUNGASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM DID A FAITHFUL SPELL ON MY CHEATING SPOUSE.

Monica and I used to be best friends, and sometimes even lovers. We sang together in church for almost 10 years. I knew that she would go out on Friday nights and hook up with guys either in downtown Raleigh, or at Applebees in Knightdale. Her first husband  dumped her after about a year of marriage. Then about 4 years ago she married some guy she met online, an air force pilot, and moved down to Texas. Imagine my surprise when I stopped by the house one afternoon when I was supposed to be at work and saw my husband’s car and some strange car in the driveway. I snuck in and found them in our bed. Neither one saw me at the door, so I snuck back out without telling them. Later that night I even found dome sexy pictures of her on my husband’s phone. What a way to find out my friend had moved back to North Carolina, and now lives in Goldsboro. I contacted Priest Odunga at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com who helped me put a faithful spell on my husband. Not up to 3 days later, my husband came to me confessing how he has been sleeping with her for more than 8 months and how he bought her the new car which parked in our driveway the day I found out. I was happy with Priest Odunga. He is well reliable. I would advise anyone who need their husband back to Email this man at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com OR contact his WHATSAPP at +2348167159012

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    AUTHOR
    Dr. John DeGarmo is the founder and director of The Foster Care Institute, and is recognized as a leading expert in foster care. Dr. John is an TEDX Talk speaker, international trainer and speaker, consultant, author, and most importantly, a father.  He has been a foster parent  with over 60 children who have come to live in his home from adoption and foster care. He is the author of many books, including the  book  
    The Foster Care Survival Guide: The Essential Book for Today's Foster Parents.

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