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It's Okay for You to Say "No" as a Foster Parent!

2/3/2021

11 Comments

 
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The word “No” has been a difficult one for me as a foster parent whenever we got “the call” for a placement of another child.
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                Indeed, for so many years, I felt guilt whenever we had to tell a case worker that we were unable to care for the child that needed a home, at that very moment.  I have had to say no on a few occasions over the year, and would be saddled with guilt for a time afterwards.  With the lack of foster homes in the area I live in, along with the increase in the number of children being placed into care, my wife and I have taken in child after child, signing waiver after waiver.  Several years ago, we had 11 children in the house. More recently, we had 9.  Yes, we were running on fumes; exhausted each day from the many emotional needs and challenges the children brought into our home and into our families.  Make no mistake; we loved what we were doing, and we felt called to do so.

                Yet, we were tired.  We needed a break.


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                Soon after this, a rather strange thing happened.  Four of the children in our home went off to college. We had been caring for some older youth, all seniors in high school, who had nowhere else to stay, no one to care for them.  It had been a rough 12 months, yet it had also been an adventurous one, as well.  And then, within a matter of days, the four older ones in our home were off on their own adventure.  While we still call them, visit them, and love them, they are starting exciting new chapters in their lives, and we shall continue to support them in so many ways.  What I found, though, was an exciting adventure was about to start for my wife and I.

                For the first time, in 15 years, we only had 4 children in the home; a biological son and three children we had adopted from foster care.  We found the house much quieter, much more peaceful, and we embraced it.  The past few weeks have been as if we were on vacation; as if we were on respite care.
 (I can only imagine that this what having an "empty nest" felt like.)  It has been a time to re-charge those batteries, reconnect with each other, and reconnect with our children.  It has been a time where we could find rest, for you see, we had reached a stage bordering on being burned out.
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                More importantly, it has reminded me that foster parents do indeed need rest from time to time.  Indeed, As I note in The Foster Care Survival Guide book, foster parents DO need rest and a time of reprieve, every now and then.
   

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​The life of a foster parent is a difficult one.  It is unlike any other life style.  The outside world does not see the many challenges and struggles you may face on a  daily, and sometimes hourly basis.  Your friends and family don’t truly understand or appreciate what you are going through.  Others see the children coming in and out of your home on a regular basis, and most find it  a wonderful thing you are doing, but also may find it a little odd or strange, and question why you do it.


You will often find yourself exhausted, both mentally and physically, and feel drained.  There is very little money available to help you, and you may not be reimbursed for all the money you spend on your foster child.  The job will require you to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no time off.    You will probably feel overworked and under appreciated.   You will work with children who are most likely coming from difficult and harmful environments.  Some of these children will have health issues, some will come with behavioral issues, and some will struggle with learning disabilities.  Many times, the children you work with will try your patience, and leave you with headaches, frustrations, disappointments, and even heartbreaks. 

So, it is okay to say “No,” once in a while as a foster parent. It is okay for you to take time for yourself, your spouse, and your family. It is okay to re-charge those batteries. It's okay to take some time off to grieve the loss of a child from foster care in your home, and in your life.  As a foster parent, you NEED to take care of yourself.   You NEED to ensure that you are watching out after yourself, finding the time you need for you, and the help you need to care for not only the children in your home, but for yourself and your family.  If you do not, all that you do will suffer.

-Dr. John

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11 Comments
Emily Sarah am from Tx,USA
4/21/2021 02:55:16 am

Spell to stop brokeup or divorce and bring your lover back even if your situation seems hopeless" I just got my husband back through the help of genuine love spell caster dr unity. My name is Emily Sarah am from Tx,USA. My husband left me for another woman, This was just 3 years of our marriage. The most painful thing is that I was pregnant with our second baby. I wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster called dr unity, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before 11 hours. He cast the spell and surprisingly 11 hours later my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to dr unity . if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Unity for help now..
Here his contact..WhatsApp him: +2348055361568 ,
Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com
,
His website:https://unityspells.blogspot.com

Reply
Bryan Krauss
7/17/2021 03:07:59 pm

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I am very happy to recommend Dr. Wale to everyone that truly needs help to fix his or her broken relationship and marriage. I found Dr. Wale online I was desperately  in need of help to bring my ex Wife back. She left me for another man. It all happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. She just left me after 3 years of our marriage without any explanation. I was very worried and could not eat till I went online and I found testimonies on DR. Wale so I decided to contact Dr. Wale through his whatsApp and I explain everything to him so he helps me cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did the spell, my wife started texting and calling me again. She said that she was sorry and said that I was the most important person in her life and she knows that now. you can also contact him now for urgent help.

WhatsApp: +1(978) 406-9575

Email: everlastingspellcast@gmail.com

 or his view website: https://everlastingspellcaster.website2.me/contact  

Reply
Stephanie Janet
6/13/2021 08:11:08 am

My name is Stephanie Janet .This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help PRIEST OSAS has rendered to me by helping me get my ex husband back with his magic and love spell. i was married for 6 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across PRIEST OSAS email on the internet on how he help so many people to get their ex back and help fixing relationship and make people to be happy in their relationship. I explained my situation to him and then sought his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here I am now celebrating because my Husband has changed totally for good. He always wants to be by me and can not do anything without my present. I am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. I will keep on testifying on the internet because PRIEST OSAS  is truly a real spell caster. DO YOU NEED HELP THEN CONTACT PRIEST OSAS NOW VIA EMAIL:Unsurpassed.solution@gmail.com or call WhatsApp (+2348151243832)  He is the only answer to your problem and make you feel happy in your relationship
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Reply
Tracy
8/26/2021 12:48:35 am

PRIEST ODUNGA AT ODUNGASPELLTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM DID A FAITHFUL SPELL ON MY CHEATING SPOUSE.

Monica and I used to be best friends, and sometimes even lovers. We sang together in church for almost 10 years. I knew that she would go out on Friday nights and hook up with guys either in downtown Raleigh, or at Applebees in Knightdale. Her first husband  dumped her after about a year of marriage. Then about 4 years ago she married some guy she met online, an air force pilot, and moved down to Texas. Imagine my surprise when I stopped by the house one afternoon when I was supposed to be at work and saw my husband’s car and some strange car in the driveway. I snuck in and found them in our bed. Neither one saw me at the door, so I snuck back out without telling them. Later that night I even found dome sexy pictures of her on my husband’s phone. What a way to find out my friend had moved back to North Carolina, and now lives in Goldsboro. I contacted Priest Odunga at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com who helped me put a faithful spell on my husband. Not up to 3 days later, my husband came to me confessing how he has been sleeping with her for more than 8 months and how he bought her the new car which parked in our driveway the day I found out. I was happy with Priest Odunga. He is well reliable. I would advise anyone who need their husband back to Email this man at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com OR contact his WHATSAPP at +2348167159012

Reply
Lerynne West
12/14/2021 07:10:16 am

I never knew lottery spells existed until I was referred to Dr Amber by my neighbor. I have been playing lottery games for the past 7 years and I have never won above $2,000 but after I came in contact with Dr Amber, I told him my past experience about playing lottery of which I have never won big amount and Dr Amber told me what will be done by praying and preparing a lottery spell for me. He did that and gave me some numbers to play the lottery game. At first I took everything as a joke until I was emailed a week after that I had won the sum of $343.9 million. I was shocked and surprised at that very moment because my long awaited prayers had finally been answered and I thank Dr Amber for helping me out for my financial status to change and that of my generations. If you want to win a huge amount on your next lottery game, contact Dr Amber now and I assure you that your bold step will be your change of level.

Email him via: amberlottotemple@yahoo.com or Call/WhatsApp this number +1 (406) 646-2222 for immediate response.

Reply
Thomas Yi
3/23/2022 04:50:29 pm

I started playing lottery games 3 years ago and I have never won big sums. I went online to seek help on how I can win big in my lottery games and I saw some nice reviews about Dr Amber who has made different people huge winners in their lottery games with his prayers. I gave it a try and I contacted Dr Amber who told me how and what to do before I can become a big lottery winner and I accepted. He made special prayers for me at his temple and gave me the required numbers to play the lottery game and when I played it, I won a massive $235.4 million POWERBALL jackpot. I was so happy and I chose to receive my winnings in a one-time, lump-sum payment of $160,038,447.27 at Florida Lottery Headquarters in Tallahassee and the balance was given to the store that I bought & played the game from. I would love other people to seek help from him and he can be contacted through +1 (808) 481-5132 via call/text or email: amberlotterytemple@yahoo.com

Reply
Maria Leonardo
5/5/2022 05:58:49 am

Hello everyone i want to testify of the great and powerful spell caster named dr Jumba who brought back my ex who left me and got engaged to another girl,We were happy together when all of a sudden he just change he used to call me every morning and and night before going to bed but all that stopped when i call him he yell at me and told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore i was so sad and confused i didn't know what to do then i went online to search on how to get back my ex then i found this youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5wq6vgKWeao where someone was talking about how the great and powerful Dr Jumba helped her and she left his email address i took it and contacted him i told him my problem he only smiled and told me to relax everything will be OK i did everything he asked me to do and he assured me that after 24hrs he will be back,To my greatest surprise the next morning it was my boyfriend he came back kneeling and begging for me to accept him back now we are so happy together he can also help you contact him on wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com  website : https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com

Reply
Manuel Franco
12/30/2022 12:41:23 am

I just want to say Thank You to everyone who supported me through the years. My name is Manuel Franco, New Berlin, Wisconsin. My story of how I won the Powerball lottery of $768.4M is a bit of a tale. I have been playing Powerball tickets for 6 years now since I turned 18. I bought my first ticket on my 18 birthday. I was feeling very lucky that day because I had contacted Dr. Odunga Michael to help me with the winning Powerball numbers. I really had that great great feeling that I looked at the camera wanting to wink at it. I only did a tiny part of it and trusted him. He gave me the numbers after I played a couple other tickets along with it for $10. I checked my ticket after the winnings came online and saw the numbers were correct including the Power play. I screamed for about 10 minutes because it felt like a dream. I had won $768.4M. You can check my winning testimony with the lottery officials just with my name search. Thank you Dr Michael. Well, his email is odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and you can also call or Whats-app him at +2348167159012 so you guys can contact him

Reply
Maria Dominguez
1/14/2023 09:57:09 pm

Hello viewers My purpose out here today is to share this article to the world about how Doctor Robbinson helped me in getting back my husband because my dream was to have my husband back in my life, and live happily with him.. This spell caster requested a specific love spell for me and my husband, and I accepted it. And this powerful spell caster began to work his magic. And 48 hours after this spell caster worked for me, my husband called me back for us to be together again, and he was remorseful for all his wrong deeds. My spell is working because guess what: My “husband” is back and we are making preparations on how to go to court and withdraw our divorce papers . This is a miracle. Thank you Dr Robbinson for your powerful spells. Words are not enough.

if any one here need help to fix his or her marriage/relationship your solution is here
Dial: +12267705795 or
Email: drrobbinsonspiritualhome@gmail.com

Reply
Vivian Marcus
1/20/2023 10:13:01 am

Hello my name is Vivian Marcus from the United State, i'm so exciting writing this article to let people seek for help in any Break up Marriage and Relationship, Dr Kachi brought my Ex Boyfriend back to me, Thank you Sir Kachi for helped so many Relationship situation like mine to be restored, i was in pain until the day my aunt introduce me to Dr Kachi that she got her husband back with powerful love spell with help of Dr Kachi So i sent him an email telling him about my problem how my Boyfriend left me and cheating on me because of her boss lady at work i cry all day and night, but Dr Kachi told me my Boyfriend shall return back to me within 24hrs and to me everything he asked me to do the next day it was all like a dream when he text me and said please forgive me and accept me back exactly what i wanted, i am so happy now as we are back together again. because I never thought my Ex Boyfriend would be back to me so quickly with your spell. You are the best and the world greatest Dr Kachi. if you're having broke up Ex Lover or your husband left you and moved to another woman, You do want to get Pregnant do not feel sad anymore contact: drkachispellcast@gmail.com his Text Number Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 Website: https://drkachispellcast.wixsite.com/my-site

Reply
Shanika Stewart
1/23/2023 12:35:01 am


You can get your ex back and cure your infertility problems with Dr. Odunga

When I met Dr. Odunga, my husband had divorced me because I was a barren woman of 41 and I have been married for 21 years. I was devastated and confused as a woman of my age until I went online to look for help on how to get my marriage back then I met Dr. Odunga. Within 48 hours of contacting him, my ex husband came back home and pleaded for me to forgive him and take him back after 5 months of divorce. I accepted him back and then I told Dr. Odunga of my bareness for him to help me. He did the spell for fertility and after 48 hours of completing it, I conceived. My husband got me pregnant and I gave birth to a baby girl.
Presently, I am a mother of a beautiful baby girl and I am happy in my relationship. This is all thanks to Dr. Odunga and his wonderful work. Contact Dr. Odunga Via Whats-App number +2348167159012. Email at: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com

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    AUTHOR
    Dr. John DeGarmo is the founder and director of The Foster Care Institute, and is recognized as a leading expert in foster care. Dr. John is an TEDX Talk speaker, international trainer and speaker, consultant, author, and most importantly, a father.  He has been a foster parent  with over 60 children who have come to live in his home from adoption and foster care. He is the author of many books, including the  book  
    The Foster Care Survival Guide: The Essential Book for Today's Foster Parents.

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