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Guest Blog-Creating Hope Chasers by Esther Pilgrim

11/10/2016

7 Comments

 
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I am a grateful survivor of my childhood as a foster child in the foster care system.  I am a miracle on many levels.  Foster children face horrific challenges that follow them into their adult lives where the struggle to survive often painfully continues.  I firmly believe that If we genuinely want to decrease the overwhelming statistics of crime, homelessness, addiction, human-trafficking, domestic and child abuse, to name a few, we must begin with making long overdue significant changes in the foster care system and our attitude towards it. 

The more I become educated to the human brain’s development and how childhood experiences affect it, I am passionately convicted that we must make heroic efforts from the first moment a child is taken into protective custody to protecting the emotional health of each individual priceless soul.  We certainly should not carelessly, recklessly add to the emotional trauma.  We have power with eachmoment, via simple effort, to inspire children and youth to perceive, believe and become successful, thriving, awesome people.  The fact that right now most foster children are not thriving adults, reflects our failure more than theirs.

In 2007, I became the victim of a fifteen year worldwide financial online romance predator.  I found myself in the darkest place I had ever been in my life. As shared in the NBC Dateline segment that gave a glimpse of my story, ,I miraculously came back to life on the day I realized that as long as I didn’t want to be alive, I didn’t want to care about my children the way I had, I didn’t want to do the things I loved doing – such as nursing – this predator was still robbing and violating me.  Worse, I WAS ALLOWING HIM to rob the lives of people I would have touched and hopefully encouraged to not give up.  I realized this event was so much more than just about me.  My life is not about me.

Because of my story being told by NBC, I was contacted by Davina Merritt, another former foster child who ultimately opened my eyes to my responsibility to use my voice and be a voice for who I call the “invisible minority” also known as foster children.

To solidify my efforts and vision to change the very first interaction a child has with “the system”,I founded a non-profit called, HOPE CHASERS.  My passion and goal via Hope Chasers is to passionately raise awareness to the plight offoster children in communities across the nation.  I want to use my college degree and experience to get into the schools, churches and corporations to raise education as to the behaviors in youth/adults that create foster children.  I believe that if young people are taught during their early years while their hearts are still tender as to how their behaviors (addictions, etc.) can affect and possibly torment the entire lifetime of an innocent soul – some will say no who may have said yes. Finally, I am determined we provide services for the foster children themselves.  I want to spread the “Hope Tote” mission we initiated via Fostering Super Stars and support the amazing Sweet Cases of Together We Rise so that one day EVERY child being taken into protective custody gets a “Hope Tote” or “Sweet Case” versus a trash bag to put their scant number of belongings into.   These small gifts of love are a miracle of hope to a hurting, broken hearted little soul.  

Not all of us are born into HOPE.  Some of us do not know what HOPE looks like for many years, if ever.  We hear about HOPE; we are told about HOPE everywhere we go.  But to the soul who is surrounded by people who have never known HOPE, or who is immersed in pain and sorrow, the thought of finding and embracing HOPE for themselves - can seem an impossible feat.  I firmly believe that those of us who possess HOPE have been given the Honor and Duty of purposely being HOPE until that other person can find HOPE for themselves.  HOPE is out there.  I am a living testimony that sometimes you may have to search high, search low and even low crawl, but you CAN find her.  The miracle is, once you find her and you have a glimpse of her miraculous beauty – you can choose to create the fuel that will drive you to find her yet again and again. 

Make the decision to BE and CREATE HOPE CHASERS!
 
Esther Pilgrim is a Registered Nurse and Certified Case Manager who works with high risk pregnant women, primarily foster youth.  Esther is a mother and grandmother.  Esther has contributed to several books about foster children and foster care, and is the author of the book Authorized User. Esther can be found on Facebook and Twitter and can be reached via [email protected]

7 Comments
Kiah S. (former foster child) link
11/14/2016 07:34:29 am

I can not agree more with you!! I wish I had more time to comment but no one realizes what a daily struggle it is to survive and maintain with no support or guidance. Focus on foster care could change the future for sure!!

Reply
Esther link
11/18/2016 01:14:13 pm

Being an adult "foster child" is often still a very lonely struggle - with minimal if any safety net and or resources. If you struggle with depression, PTSD and or anxiety - I highly recommend checking into EMDR therapy which actually works with the brain itself. It is used by soldiers, law enforcement, child victims and now former foster children with HIGH success rates!! I offer and recommend it to all my clients who struggle and who have not had effective (or minimal) effective therapies in the past. Keep hope alive!! Esther

Reply
Barbara
11/14/2016 12:38:05 pm

As a former foster parent with children who excelled in our home I can tell you its the systems agencies and their lack of compassion that must be changed long before we can help our children heal. Transition plans should be court ordered. foster parents should have the right to stand before a judge and advocate whats really happening with our children and what we know to be best for our children. Loss of loving caring foster parents is mostly due to agency we find as a failure to our children over & over & over..We are considered babysitters with no advocacy skills allowed.The only time changes happen is when the media covers a foster child case.

Reply
Donna
11/16/2016 06:44:44 pm

Barbara. All of this is so true. Agencies that deal.with many aspects of a child's life seem to have too large of case loads and it's just another Foster kid attitude. I know some people in these positions do go above and beyond. I have seen so many Foster parents go far far beyond what is expected of them because we get to truly show them love. Not to mention everything else that goes alone with Foster parenting.
I too have completely agree that better support needs to be provided to children the moment the are removed from the home. I have so many ideas regarding the initial steps and care that should be taken right at the beginning. I truly believe if that could happen being a foster child would be less traumatic. Stats would change for the better. Foster children would excel if the proper support would be given instead of meds.

Reply
Esther Pilgrim
11/18/2016 01:18:43 pm

Barbara.. May you KNOW that you are SO MUCH more than a babysitter.. I think of the song that Tim McGraw sang, "The Daddy He Didn't Have To Be" - and I think of my previous foster parents!! They chose to take on someone else's war - !!! I am who I am because people willingly gave up their couch time, vacations, Starbucks, Saturdays.. (you get my point) in an effort to minister to a wounded soul. I am passionate because I grew up to realize how much they sacrificed for me - when I didn't do anything to deserve any of it. True "Pro-Life" ;)

Reply
Willie
11/21/2016 06:03:47 pm

Esther, thank you for shining light on the changes that need to be made and giving HOPE.

Reply
Jennifer Sanchez
8/26/2021 01:53:39 am

Many people have written articles about how they were helped but I am very grateful to this great man who brought my ex-husband back to me. This testimony is a true story and my name is Jennifer Sanchez. When I came in contact with this man was also through a testimony written about him helping with a cure for Herpes Virus and I have also encountered many testimonies about how he has been helping others with their life. To get back with an ex is one of the most innermost feelings many people would love to experience especially as those memories with our ex always cloud our mind when someone else does some of those things our ex used to do. I was a single parent of two boys for almost 6 years and though my ex-husband was not staying with me and the kids I still wish someday he will return to me. This doctor I encountered is known as Dr. Odunga helped me with my wishes and I am happy to write on this website that my ex-husband is back with me. I am very happy to share the testimony with everyone so that they too can meet this great doctor and solve their problems. I don't know what others might feel about getting their ex back in their life but I always know there is a blessing in disguise with just a single re-connection with an ex. If you want to successfully get back with your ex or facing an infertility problem, contact this great man at [email protected] Or WhatsApp/Call +2348167159012 and share an awesome testimony too just as I did

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    AUTHOR
    Dr. John DeGarmo is the founder and director of The Foster Care Institute, and is recognized as a leading expert in foster care. Dr. John is an TEDX Talk speaker, international trainer and speaker, consultant, author, and most importantly, a father.  He has been a foster parent  with over 60 children who have come to live in his home from adoption and foster care. He is the author of many books, including the  book  
    The Foster Care Survival Guide: The Essential Book for Today's Foster Parents.

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